The Donald's Groupies

By Jeff Simpson 

And other stories from the post apocalyptic election America.  Everything you think you know, you just don't.   

Scott Walker had this to say at The Donald's thank you tour(not the private fundraiser he was really here for(that we know of anyway)).

Walker joked how he, Ryan and Priebus all grew up in southern Wisconsin and that when people ask him what was in the water, "I tell 'em it’s beer."

We know that Scott Walker loves his beer, so that is not surprising but it was just last July when Scott told us this:

Plainfield, Iowa — Before Scott Walker stood on a national stage, he crawled beneath the wooden pews and white steeple of First Baptist Church.
His father preached and his mother ran the Sunday school in this Iowa farm town too small to have a stoplight. Growing up in the parsonage next door — in the shadow of the church — Walker learned his first lessons in faith, politics and living a life on public display.

And he also "grew up" in Colorado:

When he was 2, he gave his first speech at the church in Colorado Springs, Colo., where his father worked, telling the parishioners: "May God bless you this Christmas with joy that never ends."

I guess when you can believe that an elf actually can be a world class dentist and that "bumbles bounce" you ccan expand your mind even more to believe that story.

I get that people can move around, but it is very convenient that he can grow up in so many places as long as its convenient. It is almost like he stands for nothing.

Next there is The Donald. Who finally, after several cancellations, came to West Allis for a private fundraiser(he isnt making enough money off the election apparently), and was able to fit in a stop on his "thank you" tour. A few thousand people showed up to yell one last time "put Hillary in prison", before she becomes nothing more than the answer to a trivia question(who was the candidate that actually lost to the guy who said he can start kissing any woman he feels like and grab them by the pu$$y?). Personally, I am hoping when that question comes up in a couple years I have a hard time remembering it!

In his address to the few thousand screaming white people(whiter than the blizzard of a day before), he took his chance to humiliate Paul Ryan once again!

“He’s like a fine wine: Every day that goes by I get to appreciate his genius more and more,” Trump said, before adding: “Now if he ever goes against me I’m not going to say that.”

Paul Ryan is like table wine, he will continue serving him while he is useful, but the minute he is no longer needed he will be tossed aside like day old bread!!   

I am assuming that Paul Ryan (R-Wall St.) is smart enough to pick up on exactly what The Donald said.   

Tip O' Neil and Sam Rayburn, are turning over in their graves watching the current Speaker of the House be the house elf, of a non politician reality TV "star". Maybe John Boehner can sneak in sometime and hand Paul Ryan one of The Donald's argyles.   

At least Paul Ryan is not alone.  His good friend Scott Walker has joined him on the kept politician list! 

During the presidential primary, Trump had mocked Walker, saying he was the one who drove Walker out of the 2016 presidential race and "sent him packing like a little boy."

On Tuesday, he praised Walker's toughness and leadership.   

But wait there is more.  

Donald Trump plans on appointing Ol' Governor Good Hair to be head of the Department of Energy, which at one point, Rick Perry (R-Glasses) wanted to eliminate if only he could remember its name.  

Looks like now, the taxpayers of the US will have to invest in some sort of GPS system so Rick Perry can find his way to work.

Finally, for now, there is the incomparable and unintelligible Sheriff David "vacation" Clarke.   

Trump and his campaign used the "rope-a-dope strategy" on the "fake news network," Clarke said, calling out several national media organizations by name as he accused them of trying to "sabotage and undermine" the president-elect.
"We’re going to have to do a lot more heavy lifting to help Donald Trump and Mike Pence push back against this subversive movement," Clarke told the crowd. "Do you have the pitchforks and torches ready?"

First time in history, the people in power have called for "pitchforks and torches", but no one ever accused Dave of being intelligent or understanding history.  

It is going to be a long two years and the Wisconsin far right extremists are going to be right in the middle of the tropical storm Donald.   

Buckle up!