Wednesday, December 4, 2013

Grinch Walker vs St. Nick

Given the mind-boggling success of Scott Walker's Black Friday fundraising email - hey, it did get worldwide attention! - I was excited to get home and see his email for Saint Nicholas Day, which is Friday.

You can only imagine my disappointment when I didn't see one.

However, if Walker had sent out an email, I could just imagine that it might look something like this:

Instead of going out into the cold and/or deep snow for Saint Nicholas Day. stay in and give your children a gift that will keep on giving.

This year, we are celebrating the Holiday Season with a Saint Nicholas Day special that is better than any deal found in stores. Donate $5, $10 or $25 to help Governor Walker get reelected and save your children for a future of double-digit tax increases and billion dollar budget deficits.

Instead of electronics or toys that will undoubtedly be outdated, broken, lost or confiscated by Chief Erwin by the next Holiday Season, help give your children the gift of a Wisconsin that we can all be proud of. Governor Walker is helping Wisconsin move forward to a future where your children and grandchildren can experience:
  • Economic Slavery
  • Privatized Schools
  • Freedom From Government Dependence
And instead of giving them candy that will undoubtedly rot their teeth, make them fat and give them diabetes, help give your children the gift of a Wisconsin where they won't need the Badger Care that Governor Walker will cut them off of.

The Governor wants his sons to grow up in a Wisconsin as great as the Iowa he grew up in. When asked why he never stopped fighting for domination of Wisconsin during the Recall, Governor Walker says he has two reasons, his sons Matt and Alex.  He looks forward to the day when he can take the royal heirs onto the turret of the Governor's castle and say, "This half is Matt's, this half is Alex'.  Now fight it out for who gets to be the ALEC puppet!"

With your help, Governor Walker is enacting reforms that are securing a strong state for the future of Wisconsin’s corporate overlords. This Saint Nicholas Day, donate $5, $10 or $25 to help Governor Walker win reelection so he can continue to help drive Wisconsin forward into the open mining pit.

A corporate-controlled Wisconsin is the best gift you can give.


[Insert name of soon to be fired Walker campaign staffer here]
Friends of Scott Walker

Paid for by The Friends of ALEC
I bet he would have racked in the money with that winner.

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